Tag Archives: little red riding hood

Rosie Little’s Cautionary Tales for Girls by Danielle Wood

Rosie Little’s Cautionary Tales is one part warning and one part fairy tale. It’s broken up into about a dozen short stories, half of which follow the course of Rosie Little’s life experiences, the other half following the mishaps of several random women. Rosie’s penchant for red and her reference to an abusive boyfriend as “the Wolf” make her a modern day Little Red Riding Hood. Except RL has a fairy godmother that keeps popping up in the most unexpected of places.

The book highlights some of the more important cornerstones and moments of a girl’s life, including: virginity, truth, travel, beauty, art, love, commitment, marriage, work, longing, loss, and destiny.

At some points Wood seemed a bit muddled on whether or not her book was going to be pure fiction or fairy tale. Much of the book seems perfectly “normal” but several of the stories (and parts of Rosie’s life) have supernatural elements thrown in. I enjoyed it quite a bit, especially the magical parts, but I think it could’ve been a tad more stitched together.

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Rosie also scattered tidbits of wisdom throughout. This one was my favorite:

A Word from Rosie Little on Facial Lines

No doubt your mother, or some other responsible adult in your life, warned you about pulling faces when a change in wind direction was on the cards. Of course, the idea that you could end up with the tip of your tongue lodged permanently in a nostril just because the breeze swung to the east sounds as ridiculous as green vegetables putting hairs on your chest, or the marrow in your bones melting because you sat too close to a fire. But on reflection (my own reflection, as it happens, in my very own bathroom mirror), I’ve decided that the saying about pulling faces is not an entirely silly one after all.

Get on a bus full of old people and you’ll understand what I mean. It’s easy to pick the woman who’s spent her life indulging herself in moral indignation, tightening her lips against mothers who are too young, mothers who are too old, young men with dangerous-looking haircuts, and Winifred Martin going off with May Charleston’s husband, and at their age, honestly. Yes, you’ll be able to pick her in a trice, since she’ll be the one with the cat’s arse where her mouth ought to be.

I once met a monk called Father Basil and I can attest to the fact that a life of contemplation does magnificent things for your skin in old age. Sit around all day with a beatific smile on your face, pondering the beauty of nature and the essential goodness of humanity, and you really will end up with your face permanently set in an expression of deep serenity. It’s too late for me, of course, to achieve such a thing. At just past thirty, I’ve already laid the groundwork for my old woman’s face, and what with all the bemused and quizzical faces I’ve affected in my time, I’m bound to be a very puzzled-looking octogenarian. Oh, that wind is out there all right. It just takes a few years for it to change you.

4 paths to grandma’s house of 5

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Red Riding Hood by Sarah Blakley-Cartwright

I’m about to say something blasphemous. Mothers should draw the shades and cover their children’s eyes.

WHAT THE LIVING EFF WAS THIS GARBAGE?

No, I’m not talking about the book–never the book. The movie.

I know right now you’re thinking, But Chelsea, of course the movie was garbage. They always are compared to the book. What did you expect? And you would be right.

Except this book did not EXIST before the movie. Yep, you heard me right. It was based on a screenplay written by David Leslie Johnson, made for a movie directed by Catherine Hardwicke, based off of an idea of Leonardo DiCaprio’s. Talk about Inception… It’s a book inside a screenplay inside a movie inside an idea. What?

And that’s fine. But this is the last time I trust Catherine Hardwicke with a movie. I was willing to give her a chance even after she eff’d up the Twilight movie (“Hold on tight, spider monkey.” Really, Catherine? Really??) But now, the gloves are off.

Not only was the Red Riding Hood movie a spectacular cheese-fest of terrible, it also was ABSOLUTELY UNLIKE the book. And yeah, sure, the movie and the book are never the same–I get it. But this book was written FOR THE MOVIE and yet still, it was completely off the mark. Do you get what I’m saying?

Shouldn’t the book follow the movie pretty well, especially if it was created because of it? Is it just me?

Rant aside, the book was enjoyable. Blakley-Cartwright took what assuredly was a heinous script and added dark elegance and flowing prose to round it out. She used great imagery and was very creative with her descriptions. I appreciate her writing style, I really do. It was nothing like the classic fairy tale. RRH is not a retelling, it’s a re-imagining.

Now if only she could’ve sat in the director’s chair instead…

Verdict: Please for the love of all that is holy, do NOT watch the movie. Read the book instead and forget there ever was such a nightmare. And try not to think about the fact that the actors involved in this…thing…are getting paid more than you ever will. It’s a sad state of affairs.

4 big bad wolves of 5


Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce

“Grandma, what big teeth you have…”

I think we all remember the classic tale of Little Red Riding Hood. Picnic basket, grandma’s house, red cloak, little girl…drag queen wolf. Whatever. That story is dumb. Who would let a little girl wander off alone for miles in the dark, scary woods by herself? Especially a little girl who was dumb enough to mistake a wolf in a bonnet and nightgown for her grandmother. I mean…I know women tend to grow mustaches after menopause, but get real!

Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce is not that story. Scarlett and Rosie March are two sisters with an irrevocable bond. After watching their grandmother Oma March be brutally murdered and consumed by a Fenris, the girls devote their lives to becoming expert hunters and killing all the werewolves they can. Scarlett’s obsession is fueled not only by the loss of her only dependable family member, but also because she lost her eye and suffered serious injury during the attack–physically and mentally scarring her for life. 

Unfortunately, Rosie doesn’t share her sister’s same obsession and longs to live a life of normalcy–learning to dance, going to school, falling in love… When long-time family friend Silas Reynolds starts to see Rosie as more than just his hunting partner’s little sister, her opportunity for a normal life calls her like a siren’s song. But how can she abandon Scarlett’s quest for vengeance and concern for other girls’ safety for something as trivial as love? Especially now, when the Fenris packs are on the prowl for the next Potential…

“Now our hearts link only when we’re hunting, when Scarlett looks at me with a sort of beautiful excitement that’s more powerful than her scars and then tears after a Fenris as though her life depends on its death. I follow, always, because it’s the only time when our hearts beat in perfect harmony, the only time when I’m certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we are one person broken in two.”

I usually enjoy fairy tale re-imaginings, and Sisters Red was no exception. I’m all about books with kick-ass heroines setting injustices right. I liked the Fenris as monsters, and I thought it was pretty believable the way Pearce spun them–part horror-movie monster and part creepy sexual predator. Nice. Also, the alternating points of view in every other chapter–switching between sisters–was well executed and didn’t take away from the story.

Through partial fault of my own (due to a very busy as of late personal life) it took me two weeks to finish this book. I’m not sure if it was because of my sporadic reading time, or simply a very-quickly driven plot, that made it seem like everything fell into place really quickly. I didn’t feel the anxiety the trio was under during their research, or really get into Scarlett’s obsession with hunting hunting hunting. I also thought Silas and Rosie got together a bit too seamlessly and I didn’t buy the whole “be all end all” of it.

I did like the fact that it was set in the South, and I’m partial to books with a supernatural flair that take place here…. (Anyone remember me reading the Beautiful Creatures series, or the Sookie Stackhouse series? Yep). Worth the read, Sisters Red had a bit more grit than a beach read but a little less teeth than Holly Black’s Ironside series.

3 keloid scars of 5