Tag Archives: book review

Hater by David Moody

REMAIN CALM DO NOT PANIC TAKE SHELTER WAIT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS THE SITUATION IS UNDER CONTROL.

Ok, I’m just gonna say it. I HATED Haterhater-david-moody-2006-21412924

Whatever, haters gonna hate!

(Sorry, I had to…)

Danny lives in England and has a job that he can’t stand, a wife who doesn’t appreciate him, and three rambunctious kids that don’t know when to stop. Every day of his life is a plodding misery. Go to work, get yelled at. Come home, get yelled out. There is hardly ever any freedom or joy during his week. (Sounds familiar, right?)

Suddenly, a pandemic strikes! All across the globe “Haters” have cropped up. Seemingly normal people are instantly changed into violent killers, often lashing out at the first person within striking range. (Think zombies, but without the dead grossness and hunger for brains. More like a rage virus, really).

Danny and his family hole up in their small apartment and wait for the government to come to their aid. (Hah.) But while they’re prisoners in their own home, something unexpected happens that tears apart their family forever.

Ok… *sigh* This is where things get tricky. Haters was SOOOOO predictable that I probably could’ve gotten my 14 year old sister to finish the book for Mr. Moody. The first half was really poorly written, and the second half was interesting, but the movement came too late. I’m almost tempted to read the second book just because I am nosey and like to see what happens next. Plus, it could always be better, right?

But alas, I will probably refrain. There are so many good books out there calling my name.

Skip it.

2 stab wounds of 5

 


The Wild Life of Our Bodies by Rob R. Dunn

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In his astonishingly interesting book, The Wild Life of Our Bodies, Rob R. Dunn takes us on a very intimate journey. From modern day who we are back to prehistoric who we were. He postulates that many of our 21st century afflictions are caused by lack of microbial, bacterial, and parasitic presence in our bodies–that we evolved to function with, not against. 

Many of us now live in “First World” countries and as a result we are exposed to far fewer bacteria than ever before. Everywhere you look there are water filters, hand sanitizers, and antibiotics galore! As a result, things like anxiety, autism, allergies, dementia, etc… are caused by the body attacking itself rather than its normal battle against intestinal parasites. In Third World countries, it is practically unheard of for a child to have autism. In the US, nearly 1 in 7 kids is diagnosed. 

While Dunn is NOT saying we all need to go off and swallow some worm eggs to calm ourselves down and get back in tune with nature–he does raise some interesting points. He also has the most logical explanation of the appendix’s function that I have ever heard.

A new favorite.

5 microorganisms of 5 


The Twice Lost by Sarah Porter

Finally my mermaid trilogy has come to an end! At this point, I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry. While I fell in love with Luce (and Sarah Porter) during The Lost Voices, my annoyance with her only grew through Waking Storms and The Twice Lost. Her lyrical prose that drew me in was still there, but the delicate beauty the story had at first was soon replaced by blockbuster easy-to-predict action that kind of disappointed me. the twice lost

I just hate how every YA story must revolve around a guy (or two) and how the heroine is influenced by her feelings/weakness for him. I liked the way that Porter ended the series, but throughout the second and third book Dorian continuously pissed me off. DO YOU HONESTLY THINK ANY WOMAN IN HER RIGHT MIND WOULD GIVE UP A MERMAID TAIL SO SHE COULD FOLD SOME DUDE’S LAUNDRY FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE?? NO BITCH, I AM NOT GIVING UP MY AWESOMENESS FOR YOU!

I mean, some girls did end up choosing differently than Luce, but everyone had different reasons for that. I don’t think the reason should be a guy who may or may not love you. That’s just me.

I couldn’t help but feel like The Twice Lost would’ve made a better movie than a book.

*SPOILER ALERT*

Also, during the helicopter scene–when the mermaid were drying out and dying suspended midair–why couldn’t the mermaids who were NOT on “wave” duty start singing a wave to come up and cover the mermaid, or even knock the helicopter out of the sky?? It seemed like the obvious solution and it seemed dumb of Luce (or any of the others) not to think of it. 

I still love Sarah Porter and her mermaids, but I have to say I finished this book more out of anxiety than pleasure.

4 larvae of 5

Added bonus: Back in June when we went back to Florida to visit our families, I got the amazing opportunity to swim with one of Eric Ducharme’s tails! (He was featured awhile back on TLC on My Crazy Obsessions. Check out his site here.)

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This is All: The Pillow Book of Cordelia Kenn by Aiden Chambers

Let me start by saying that This is All has been sitting in the purgatory that is my To Read list for at least a handful of years. It’s a fictional diary of sorts, detailing the life and writings of 15-19 year old Brit Cordelia Kenn. She begins the book as a sixteenth birthday present to her unborn child and it chronicles her first love, losing her virginity, her budding friendship with a beloved teacher, and the growing pains-strangled relationship that she and her parents struggled with. n232254

I absolutely loved it–thank sweet baby Jesus–because the massive tome is 800 pages long! (And, I’m sure you’ll understand what I mean when I say that there’s Harry Potter 800 pages and… well… everything else 800 pages.) A few months ago I read The Kissing Game by Mr. Chambers and I just didn’t get it. So color me surprised that a 70 year old man could capture the inner-workings of a teenage girl with such clarity!

“The demons of the Devil don’t use your weak weaknesses against you, they use your strong ones. If you’re rational and logical, they argue their case rationally and logically. If you’re loyal and faithful, they turn those against you. If you’re passionate and emotional, they make you passionate and emotional about your worse fears. Your weak weaknesses are no use to them…. They find the strongest weaknesses you didn’t know were yours and use those against you.”

The hugeness of it all is divided into several parts to digest more easily. I didn’t mind that, but for some reason Chambers felt it necessary to have a 150+ page book that required you to flip back and forth every other page A to B to follow two different strains of Cordelia’s experience at once. I understand that one is what she was writing at the time and the other was what she was living at the time, but spare me. It’s awkward enough to support such a heavy book for hours on end without having to keep track of where the hell you are every two pages.

(As a side note: I don’t remember if it was ever described, but I always pictured Cordelia and Will to be black. It doesn’t matter really, but did anyone else find themselves imagining the same thing? Also, the ending and the tampon scene… SAY WHAAAAT?!)

All in all, probably one of the best coming-of-age stories I have ever read. I just wish I had the clarity, strength of character, and insight that Cordelia had when I was floundering through my teen years.

5 mopes of 5

 


Doing It by Melvin Burgess

I started Doing It the other day, right after I’d snuck into another apartment complex’s pool. As it turns out, that little bit of harmless mischief fit very well alongside the plot line.

Doing It details the sex lives, the would-be sex lives, and the confusion that goes along with being a hormone-riddled British adolescent. It follows Dino, who is desperately trying to lose his virginity to the girl of his dreams, Ben, who is having a kinky (but somewhat reluctant) affair with his teacher, and Jonathan, who realllly “fancies” his chubby BFF but is too ashamed to properly act on his feelings. doing it

*sigh* Boys are dumb. Doesn’t matter which country.

I really enjoy Burgess’ voice, and it was only after I’d finished this book that I realized I’d read another by him called Lady: My Life as a Bitch years earlier and loved it. Something about the plaintive sexuality and frustration contained within his writings is just totally page-turning. Plus, British lingo is really cute.

The characters did all take their turns pissing me off though. Dino was dumb because of what he did to his girlfriend Jackie, and Jackie was dumb because even though she’d had sex a million times before with her previous boyfriend she wouldn’t have sex with Dino. I don’t get it. Ben was dumb for letting himself be carried along in something he didn’t want to do and Jonathan was dumb for letting others’ opinions get in the way of getting the girl and for not just manning-up and going to the doctor, for chrissakes!

So basically, it’s an accurate portrayal of what it’s like to be a teenager.

4 make out sessions of 5


Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Prachett

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At only 25 years of age, I’ve apparently lived through at least three widely touted “end of the world” dates. Y2K, the 2011 Rapture, and December 2012. Man… think of how much I would’ve saved on car insurance if I’d switched to Oblivion!

Good Omens (the collaboration of two literary masterminds–Gaiman and Prachett) details the events leading up to the infamous Rapture as predicted by the centuries-dead witch Agnes Nutter. It switches back and forth from a multitude of perspectives, including an unlikely demon and angel duo–who have come to enjoy the pleasures of earth quite a bit thankyouverymuch, a descendent of Agnes Nutter, a descendent of a famous witch hunter, the boy who should’ve been the Antichrist, and the four “horsemen” of the apocalypse. (The four horsemen were absolutely badass and totally my favorite characters!)

With G&P at the helm, one could expect nothing less than an old-fashioned story told in a modern British voice–with more than a twist of dry humor. I’ve realized that part of the genius of NG’s story-telling ability is that he makes it seem so effortless and simple that you catch yourself thinking, I could write just like that! And then wahwahwahhhhh, you can’t.

The story was readable but I wouldn’t necessarily call it a page-turner. My only real complaint was that the multitude of characters sometimes made it hard to remember where you were in the story the following morning. Oh yeah, and I thought the ending had a distinct lack of action. Boo.

3 Freddie Mercury tapes of 5


The Facebook Effect by David Kirkpatrick

Ahh… Facebook. That time-sucking DELIGHTFUL waste of my life. How I loathe love you! The_Facbook_Effect_cover

I admit, I check my account at LEAST a dozen times a day. I love it. Add Instagram and you had me at hello. If anyone was destined to read The Facebook Effect, it was definitely me.

Unfortunately, instead of leaving me inspired to start my own mega-successful superbusiness online badassery, I just felt… bored.

The whole thing read like a 400 page news article. Would you like to read a 400 page news article? Didn’t think so. I had hoped that the book would be injected with the kind of witty, silly, intellectual humor that seems to be the heart of the site. Nope. It was dry, bland, and strictly black and white.While it was informative, you can only read SO MANY pages of college grads sitting on the floor typing fervently at their computers before your eyes glaze over.

And even after reading TFE, I don’t feel like I know who Mark Zuckerburg is as a person anymore than I did previous to the book.

But really, I can only thank everyone who was involved with the creation of Facebook, because seriously… do any of you remember what you used to do with all that spare time?? I sure don’t. But my advice is skip the Facebook book and just go straight to the site. That’s all you really need to know.

2 status updates of 5