I am the words that are stuck in your throat.
I am the thought you wish you spoke aloud and the opinion you should’ve kept to yourself.
I am the ache in your joints and the roaring in your ears.
I am the thudding of your heart and the cold sweat on your palms.
I am the unknowable terror that doesn’t exist.
I am the made-up monster beneath your bed.
I am the action that is never taken and I am the reaction that never stops.
I cannot be starved away, burnt away, cut away, or ignored into exile.
I turn every second into an hour and consume every small happiness.
I am the strange symptom you did not anticipate and I am the loved one who never called.
I trade healing slumber for restless wakefulness.
I am the worst prediction and the false reality.
I inject mundane moments with adrenaline and exciting moments with numbness.
I am the endearments you choke on and the curses you swallow.
I am the food left cold on your plate and the snacks you just can’t put down.
I am the shiver up your spine and the flush of heat on your cheeks.
I am the phone call you refuse to take and the phone number you can’t stop calling.
I turn normalcy into nightmares.
I am the twinge in your gut and the blue underneath your nails.
I am the suspicion in your heart and the seed of doubt in your mind.
I am the bricks of the wall around you.
I am the money you aren’t making and the person that won’t talk to you.
I am the strange noises and the nights alone.
I am the impossible assignment and the incredible boredom.
I am your creation and I am your perception.
I am that which cannot be seen and can only be felt.
I am what is holding you back.
The only way I can be eliminated is to drown me in love, respect, and understanding.
To smother me with kindness and compassion.
To suffocate me with unconditional happiness and authority.
It is a conscious choice to release me and realize your potential.
Your potential to lead.
Your potential to learn.
And your potential to love.
February 27, 2012